Fourteen and a half years, a decade and a half, three quarters of my life.

Maybe I'll write more later. I'm finding it hard to wrap my mind around the fact that she's gone, when I'm so far away. Her death is not immediate to me. But when I go home, she won't be there to run up to me, growl a hello and dance her little butt around while trying to lick me to death. It will hit from time to time, now just to wait and embrace the memories when they come.

I miss you, Wussy Dog.

Overwhelmed.

One of the most important things I've learned about myself, I learned from my mom:

If I'm angry, overwhelmed, tired, complaining, on the brink of tears, irritable, frustrated, you name it...take a pause, a deep breath, evaluate just how exhausted I am, and go straight to sleep. Ok...soooo am I all of the things I listed above? Yes. Should I be letting ANY words come out of my brain? Absolutely not. Am I going to anyway? Yep.

I despise being dramatic and I hate complaining, so I'm always wary of what I say. The other half of me doesn't really give a care what anyone thinks and they can just stuff their faces if they don't want to read what I have to say. Got that?

I had a rough day today. First busy day at work, insane rushes of huge groups of people and I had one other person to help me on the grill. It was exhausting. One order we got was for like 17 people at once. Anyway, it was exhausting. I'm exhausted. I've been working for 9 days now and have 6 more to go before I have a day off. I'm on the brink of tears just thinking about it. I was made the supervisor of the Grill yesterday, which I am really excited about. I get to help train 8 new grill employees tomorrow and next week, which is a daunting but totally fun thing to look forward to. Basically, I'm not complaining. I love my job. It's incredible. I love working hard and coming to the end of the long day being exhausted and knowing that I worked with everything in me and had an awesome day. I'm learning so much about myself. About integrity, about gathering strength from God when I don't have enough to keep going, about doing my best to be kind to people even when I'm busy or tired (still working a lot on that one, lol), about patience, patience, patience. Most of all, the most amazing thing that I've realized is that I am in control of how I react to circumstances, they do not control me. This is amazing. I can have a great day every day if I want to have one, which I do, every day. Even today, so many things happened that normally I would have let ruin my day. Just stupid little things piling up, but I didn't let them bug me. I'm tired, but so, so happy.

God is absolutely overwhelming me with his love. I walked out of work tonight and smelled the fresh air and saw the beautiful stars and asked God why he blesses me so much. I made the mistake of thinking that God's blessings means he loves me, which I know is true, but that's a really bad "thermometer" to go by. He loves me all the time, his blessings are just the icing on the cake. I realized though, that maybe what I think is him blessing me is really just my outlook on the life he's given me. Even the negative things I thank him for because that's when I grow the most. So, I see those as the biggest blessings. I think I realize now is that the biggest gift he's helped me to develop is my positive outlook on life. No matter what, I always see it as good. He is good. He loves me constantly no matter how much I mess up, which I've done a ton, and he just...yea. Like I said, I'm overwhelmed. The words aren't coming anymore, so I'm just going to go take a shower and go to sleep. God is absolutely beautiful. He fills me to the fullest all the time, no matter what. I've seen his love for me out here more than I ever have before in my life. Absolutely overwhelming. I love it.

Pure ridiculosity. =D

I am so ridiculously, wonderfully, astronomically happy right now. It should be against the law to be this excited about life. =D

I love being ALIVE and living my life. I don't just exist anymore. It's faaaaaantastic! I worked a lot today and am pretty much exhausted from going, going, going lately so who knows why on earth I am so WIDE awake right now. Probably a tad over tired. :)

I was just looking at my pictures of Pike's Peak and realized that I would probably be the only one who would be so very excited to see all the pictures of the amazing rock forms I saw. :P I love Geology SO much. You have no idea. Well, some of you do. :) Colorado has to be one of the most amazing places to live for a rock nerd like myself. I swear I get whiplash every time I'm riding in a car...I see a rock wall and *bam* my head whips around to watch it go by. Sean knows me so well that he saw me do that and pulled over to the side of the road immediately so I could get out and look at it more closely. It was great. :) Basically every day here consists of me going "OMG OMG ROCKS, ROCKS, ROCKS!!!!" Yea...you can hear me saying that can't you. :P Except for the OMG part...I only say that to mock little pre teens who actually say that.

On our way to Pike's Peak we saw a moraine lake and I was like "Dude!! I know what that is!" that and the PP granite being so porous which lets water in and then the water freezes which creates frost wedging, which is PP granite has no market value. The glacier chapter in my Geology class was by far one of my favorites. I cannot wait to get back into a Geology classroom. I am so incredibly glad that I am out here in Colorado experiencing my love for rocks and all things geology instead of just sitting in a classroom learning about it. Whenever I see anticlines and synclines on the side of the road I just stare in awe... "That's it! Right there!! That's the squish! That's THE squish!!! Holy cow..." It's SO FREAKING AMAZING!!!! I'm living my dream. =D You should have seen me when I found muscovite all over the ground. Huge chunks in it's pure mineral form. Some of them were even better than the classroom examples in my college Geology class. It was ridiculously awesome.

I can't believe that I finally fit somewhere. I've found my passion for life. I honestly wasn't sure if I ever would. I've always been a "jack of all trades" in my educational paths. I was interested in everything and good at everything and more often than not I would find something that I thought I would want to do with my life. It never lasted though. The passion which was never really there would go away quickly and I'd be back in square one again. The first day I sat in my Geology class, it just slapped me in the face and woke my life up. Geology was what I was made to do. It's my love and adventure. I can't wait to learn all there is to know. It drives me nuts to be out somewhere and only remember half of something. I want to know EVERYTHING there is to know about Geology.

I had more to say but I'm definitely crashing and don't even really know what I'm typing right now. Definitely time for sleep. :)

Cherry flavored anything.

I'm sitting in my room, alone, doing absolutely nothing for the first time in about a week. It's niiiiice. I love spending time with people here like you wouldn't believe but it's hard sometimes getting used to being non introverted. :)

I have officially been here for four weeks. One month. It feels like a week. The next three months are going to go by way too fast. I've really gotten to know people and such in the last week though, before that I spent most of my time alone.

I love the people here. They are all so friendly and nice, it's like a gigantic family. Everyone knows everyone...and everything. :P The only people I have troubles with are the ones I have to be extra polite to. But that's just me and my issues with patience.

I've found out recently that I really don't like being treated hmm, how do I say this...like, a lady? All the chivalry crap is not only lost on me but it bugs the crap out of me. I want to be treated like an equal, like a friend, nothing more. It makes me uncomfortable to be a special case. This one guy in the kitchen (nice thai guy from previous posts) tries to do everything for me and I just want to slap him upside the head. It's such a relief when I am around people who don't treat me like this.

I finally get to go make chocolate chip cookies with my friend Karen!! You have no idea how excited I am!!! NO IDEA! Really. Seriously. You couldn't possibly imagine. Ever. really. don't even try.

Last night I had the best dinner since I've gotten here. Turkey, sweet potatoes, stuffing, gravy, and apple cobbler. I almost died. Tonight though, it shall be cookie dough. :P

My friend, Sean, pointed out to me that if you work in the Snow Mountain Ranch Food Services, you are one of the many SMRFS. :P Wearing a blue work shirt with a white apron only accentuates the awesomeness of this factoid.

I'm eating an apple right now off the core. I haven't done that pretty much ever. I hate eating fruit like that.

I have discovered Sack Lunches. Best idea ever. You sign up for a lunch, it's ready by 1:00 and I don't have to starve when I don't have any food to eat after my 4:30 dinner! It's awesoommme.

Apparently I will be working in The Grill this summer. It's like a little...grill..thing up in the main building. Yea, descriptive, I know. But I get to avoid the hundreds of people going through commons this summer, which sounds good to me.

I miss Seattle. The waterfront, the saltwater, the energy...mmm. I do not, however, miss Covington. At all. :P I wish I had my car too.

I'm very much enjoying my life here. I would say that I miss everyone out there but to be honest, I don't. I know that's a horrible thing to say and I pretty much constantly feel like a jerk

but I'm not going to lie to peoples' faces and say "ohhh I miss you too!!!" It's such a relief to be free. I have a hard time hiding that. I used to care about people's feelings too much but I think I jumped to the other side of the ditch too quickly and don't care enough anymore. I'm working on it though, don't worry. I'm trying to learn to live in moderation instead of the all or nothing, hot/cold mentality I'm used to. It's sloooowww going in some ways but I'm also doing pretty well in other ways.

All of those years of American Sign Language have paid off. I never realized before I got here how skilled I am at reading body language. It's especially helpful around the Thai people when I can't understand what the heck they're trying to tell me. I pick up on non verbal cues and can almost always tell what's going on. It's nice around people I don't know very well, to be able to pick up on what someone isn't saying to me. I always leave room for error and correction so I don't make an assumption that isn't true.

I have two days off, tomorrow and Thursday. Sweeeeet. I'm going to hopefully spend most of Thursday in the Craft Shop here because it's the bomb. I have a bunch of creative energy building up in me. Steve-O showed me how to wood burn and I loved it. Must. do. more. :)

Time to go make cookies! Peace!

Update 4-15-10

It's been a Fleet Foxes kind of day today. Well, afternoon perhaps, it was a Phoenix kind of morning while I was exercising.

Work is hectic! They are painting the entire gigantic dining room so all of the tables, dishes and buffet lines had to be moved in to one of the conference rooms. It makes setting up, breaking down and doing dishes ridiculous. :P It's alright though, it's a change of pace and takes more time to do everything so there is less standing around being bored. :)

I'm making a lot of friends here all of the sudden. I LOVE it. :) I'm getting invited places now to hang out. Tonight after work I went to the KIVA (gym) to watch a bunch of people play basketball. While I was there we got a group of people together to (hopefully) play volleyball after I get off work tomorrow night. I'm excited! I think it's been almost a year since I've played but people have promised me that they aren't that great either. :P

Tomorrow I work my 12 hour shift from 6-2:30 and then 5-9pm. It should be fun. I really, really like the people I work with so going to work is something I look forward to. It's an interesting dynamic here because everyone works 40 + hours a week so no one complains about having to go to work. Occasionally there are things that you can't do if you're working, but usually the people you would hang out with anyway are working with you at the same time.

The people here seem to really like me and the feeling is definitely mutual. I actually haven't particularly met anyone here that I can't stand. It's pretty awesome. I really love the dynamic here...it's like college but without the stress of school work. It's really, really neat.

The weather here is beautiful! I went on a 2 hour walk with my friend Melissa yesterday and the fresh air was soooooo incredible! Gah! I still can't believe I LIVE in COLORADO! I have always wanted to come here and then one day I do an internet search for jobs in Colorado, this one pops up, I apply and then a week and half later I'm here! I can't WAIT to go hiking.

I really don't have anything to complain about. Well, except that my hands are about to jump ship because I'm mistreating them so badly. :P Dishes, dishes, dishes. No, there aren't any rubber gloves to wear because we have to transition between washing dirty dishes to putting away clean ones every few minutes. It's just a hassle. But there's nothing to complain about. :)

I'm super excited! April 20th is the Thai New Year and next Wednesday, the 21st, the Thai's are throwing a huge party and cooking Thai food for everyone. I get off work in time to go which is awesome. :)

Just in case you were wondering, I have met people from South Africa (Melissa), Paraguay (Mercedes), Brazil (Andre), Thailand (Jane, Shane, Champ, Pongsak, etc etc), Um...That's all I can think of for now. The guys from America that I've met come from Kansas, Arizona, Michigan, Indiana, Georgia... It's really awesome to meet so many people from so many back grounds. I love getting to know new people. :)

Well, goodnight All! I'll probably be keeping myself up for a while longer just so I can actually sleep tonight. I've found that's the trick. I can either go to sleep early and wake up every hour or so and wake up feeling gross or I can get about 5 hours of really great sleep and wake up feeling good! The hard part is finding things to entertain me this late at night. :P

I'm loving life!

Rachel :)

Hello fellow inhabitants of the Earth

Thoughts from the shallow marine environment in my mind. Coal could be found if it were a lagoon...

I went to the itty, bitty, over priced grocery (which I get a discount at, woot!) and bought food for my room! I don't have to go hungry anymore. My metabolism was complaining about only eating 3 times a day. I would try to stuff myself as full as possible to make it last until the next meal. That's pretty tough to do when I'm used to my mom's AMAZING home cooking and this is..um..anyway. :P

I'm out of toilet paper. I don't exactly know where to get more. Well I do, but the RA is pretty much never here when I am.

I found an awesome mutant pretzel in my pretzel bag! I wonder what its powers are...

My phone's T9 dictionary does not have the word pretzel in it.

I MISS GEOLOGY!!! Holy Cow, like SERIOUSLY. I yeeearn for more information! Diagrams on the board, textbooks, notes, fellow smarty pants Geology nerds. This is SO the major for me. :)

I met a guy here who minored in Geology. He overheard that I was majoring in it and he got excited. No one here understands what he's talking about. I hope we get more chances to talk!

The guy who lives in the room directly above me was the source of the irritating bass vibes being pounded into my brain the first few days I was here. He's my supervisor at work (supervisor really isn't a big deal here) and he told me today that someone clued him in that I was living in the room under him. Thank you whoever that was!! Music was at a much more reasonable level today. :)

People enjoy slamming doors here. I was wondering why, in particular, they were slamming the one closest to me. Turns out it's a stairwell and when people push through the door really quickly it rams into the wall...a mere 3 inches through the wall where my pillow rests. :P

We had a staff meeting last night, we're starting to do a staff assigned cleaning schedule of this building! Woohoo! Those showers were *shudder* hopefully they will be clean soon! (I wasn't brave enough to do it).

Hmm...the snow here is powdery and beautiful. I saw REAL icicles for the first time in a long time! Pretty epic daggers. :)

I walked to work this morning in the moonlight and saw some really cool, fresh animal tracks in the snow. It's so neat living here. I'm apprecitating the scenery much more than a few days ago. I'm lucky I got to be here when it snowed! Sometimes I'll be walking somewhere and I'll just stop, look around and think. "Woah. I'm IN the Rockies. IN them. The surround me on all sides and their splendor is SO magnificent. I especially love the cloud shadows on them. It really is very beautiful here. I feel at home amongst such incredible geological structures. I can't wait to explore them this summer. :)

Apparently Seattle is THE place to be from. I hear other people say, "I'm from Georgia" "I'm from Michigan" and they don't get any reaction. I say, "I'm from Seattle" and immediately whoever I am talking to, their face lights up and they exclaim, "I LOVE Seattle!" "I've always wanted to go there!" "I loved visiting there!" "Does it really rain 9 months of the year?" Seriously. I love it. I love saying "Oh man, Seattle is the greatest! You would love it!"

I've also heard many a time, "Oh you're majoring in Geology? Well Colorado is the place to be!" :)

The people here are so nice to me. I feel like I've known them all for a lot longer than 2 days.

God is working wonders in my life. I'm really beginning to deeply acknowledge how much he loves me and how much he wants an intimate relationship with me. Bare bones, no mess, that's what he wants. It's so not complicated once I really got down to it. I feel like the complications are just there to confuse me and draw me away from my real potential in a relationship. He created me to be with him! Nothing else. He just wants me to love him and accept his love. I feel like this time in Colorado is really accentuating all of this. God's got something really cool planned and I know that if I can grasp it, I will change for the better and never be the same again. I hope beyond a hope. :)

I love talking to God about Geology. I feel like he's the only one who really understands me. I mean, he must love my nerdiness because this is the way he created me! :P I sit at the dining table a lot and just babble silently to him about "compressional forces" this and "original horizontality" that. It makes me smile that I have someone who gets exactly what I'm saying!

Whew. That was all rolling around in my mind at once. :) Good to get it spelled out and written down.

Work every day until next Wednesday. I have a double shift on Easter... 6-2:30 and then 5-9. It will be a long day. I'll just get to celebrate Jesus' resurrection by..chopping lettuce? :P

Man, this whole eternal perspective thing is soooo nice.

It's 10:00! Time to get to bed!

Rachel

Leavin' on a jet plane...

but I do know when I'll be back again.

I'm sitting in an empty dorm room which I have it to myself until later in the summer I guess.

I just cracked my head on one of the beds too, that was lovely. :P

Everything went smoothly today, without a hitch. I just ate dinner with people... um. yea.

I'm tired and wanting to complain, but not really because I know everything is always weird right when you get somewhere and it takes some time to warm up.

Just checked out the showers though..gross...I thought girls were supposed to be clean.

My flight got in early today so I was able to catch an earlier shuttle up to Snow Mountain Ranch. Saw some cool rock formations, obviously a lot of regional metamorphism in these parts.

Filled out paperwork, got an ID badge, took a driving tour of the ranch with an RA guy and then ate dinner with him and some of his friends. I don't work tomorrow, so I have a day to get settled. It feels really empty here, which I wasn't expecting. I think I saw maybe...2 guests so far? There aren't many staff here atm because it's transition time between the seasons. I don't know if I'm missing something, but I thought Colorado would be prettier than this. It's probably just the old snow that's melting and all the mud that makes it look so desolate. Plus the pine beetle destroyed a ton of pines around here.

I haven't had any issues breathing, which is good. That's what I was most worried about. It doesn't feel much different. Oh, it's really windy here too. Must be all the mountain winds and whatnot.

I miss people, but I know I'll be alright. It will take a while to adjust, but I know this is where I'm supposed to be right now.

Um..I'm going to go unpack now. Or clean the shower...seriously... :P

Random Ramblings

FOUR more days and I'm gone, baby, gone. =D

I've spent so long in a "limbo" period. Never able to be comfortable where I'm at because something may change soon but yet never moving forward because nothing EVER happens. It's tense, uncomfortable, irritating, unsettling..you name it. It's been this way for probably half of my life. Finally though, I'm moving! I'm changing! I'm GOING and not looking back. There is no limbo period. Four days and my life will be new. New people to make friends with, new situations, new job skills, new freedom and of course, new responsibility (but I'll think about that later :P).

I wish I could just leave all of my stuff behind and start fresh and clean. The thrifty Scot in me is saying "Don't throw that away! You can use that later!" The OCD in me is saying, "THROW IT AWAY!!! There will be less to pack if you don't take ANY of it!" I hate it. I hate it all. Will I really miss any of this stuff if I get rid of it? Will I ever look at it again? Is my mind enough to keep the memories alive or should I keep some of the sentimental stuff to trigger memories later? I HATE being wasteful. Everything I throw away is just going to a gigantic landfill...but I want it out of my sight. I would donate it but no one else would want it. I know I'll just accumulate more junk later. It always happens. Tomorrow is another day. Another chance to try and offload all of this stuff. A few of my friends have asked if I need help packing. I almost want to say yes, just so they can help me from freezing up out of stress. Tell me what to do, please, someone.

Went to a Sounder's game with my brother tonight. That was so much fun! We were pretty much the only dry ones in the stadium. Us and like 4 rows in front of us were under the overhang in the back. It made the experience a whole lot more enjoyable. :) I'm really getting into sporting events. I love the atmosphere, the excitement, the TALENT of the people playing. It's just so much fun. :) I love hockey the best so far, with soccer at a close second and football in there 3rd probably. I could probably care less about watching them on TV. It's kind of funny, it's strange for me at first at sporting events because there's no play by play commentary! It's so "quiet." Like...omg, the concentration is on the players like, playing, instead of on talking heads who feel the need to analyze everything. What a concept. :P WSU has a club hockey team, I'm excited. Thank you to my brother for taking me to my first inaugural sports experiences. He's the best person to take along to these things. :)

It's interesting how the only times I'm upset, stressed, sick, angry, sad, depressed, etc is when I'm lacking in sleep. I swear, sleep is my drug. I take a nap, wake up, and hey! The whole world is a brighter and happier place to be. I'm worried that I'm going to have a hard time adjusting to immediate 8 hour work days, with probably a ton of activities with the new people I meet after I get off work. Will I sleep? Will I eat well? Will I get sick? Or will I be so energized that I adapt to my new lifestyle and feel better than ever? My doctor said it will take a few weeks for my body to kick in and start making new red blood cells to deal with the new oxygen levels. I'll be at 9,000 feet in Colorado. Oh, and apparently this is the worse winter Colorado has had in a while and they're expecting it to last through May...YAY... :P

Um, well, that's about all that's been going through my mind lately. It's hard to feel sad about leaving, except when I think about the people I'm leaving behind. I can empathize with them because I hate being left behind more than anything. Thank goodness for Facebook, except that can never replace spending time with those you love. But hey, I'm not dying, just going away for a while! I'll be back! Kind of... :P

I can't wait to leave!!! This is so huge! I'm so excited!! I get nervous from time to time, but I know that this is God's doing, so I know he's taking care of me. I've got a ton of maturing and growing to do and I know that it's not going to be easy. It will be good though, because God is good and he loves me beyond my realm of comprehension.

Good night!

(If you made it through this whole thing, congrats! You either love me a lot or have too much time on your hands.)

Oooo it's SUPER windy and rainy! My favorite!!

Life...update?

Ooo boy. God is really turning my life inside-outside-upside-downside lately. This is a good thing, a great thing, an amazingly wonderful thing, but really hard too. My life as I knew it is reaching the point of becoming only a memory of a life I once lived and every connection to it is being cut off. I applied to WSU, found wonderful roommates who are old high school friends of mine, signed a lease on a condo/duplex thing, then found out that I got accepted to WSU... a tad out of order but that seems to be how I'm doing things these days. My family's house is getting foreclosed on, we have to be out soon, so I started looking for a job so I could earn a lot of money this summer to pay for rent in the fall. I stumbled upon the YMCA of the Rockies: Snow Mountain Ranch in Colorado and applied almost immediately. I haven't heard back from them yet, but I am acting in faith. I dropped my spring quarter classes at Green River in preparation for hopefully going to Colorado...that was a weird thing to do. It felt like the final moment of "here goes everything! I'm dropping classes before I know if I've got the job...if I click this button, I'm really realizing that I'm taking a leap of faith and that my life is soon going to be way out of my comfort zone." I turned 2o this week, found out my dog has cancer..we suspected, but now we know for sure, and my boyfriend and I broke up today. So...basically. I'll soon be free from all of what tied me down to my current life. My family will soon be dissolved, my house will be gone, I won't be in school, my dog will be dead, I don't have a boyfriend, and I'll be leaving soon, on some grand adventure in the Rocky Mountains.

But it's all good. My parents are making out on a fresh start! My mom is healthy, they will soon be out of debt and hopefully staying that way and my dad won't have to work at a job he hates.

My house will be gone, we won't have a "family center" for some time, but my family is growing stronger and closer than ever before. Who knows where the wind will carry my brother, but he will be happy wherever he goes and Skype makes it all good. :P I'm dropping school now to save money and make money to pursue an education in what I really want to be, a Geologist.

My dog has lived a full and happy life, being a part of my life for the last 14 years. She's sick, but not in pain and has no clue how old or sick she really is. :P

My boyfriend...my boyfriend. My wonderful Mitch. I love him and I always will. There is so much to say, he knows and I know, so I won't try to belittle it by typing it in words. But to all of you, don't worry, we're actually pretty alright because we know it's for the best. We're much happier being incredible friends than so-so boyfriend/girlfriend.

God is so incredible. My relationship with him is reaching bounds that I have never experienced before and gahhhh, it's so, so amazing. I wish everyone knew what it feels like to be this loved. I am learning so much about..everything and growing in new and painful, but great ways. He is what is getting me through everything. I have never known his faithfulness like this before. Everything that is happening is part of his plan...it couldn't possibly be anything else.

Everything hinges on this job in Colorado. I am moving in faith and trusting in God that he knows what's best for me. If I get it, great! If I don't, it will just be another branch of the adventurous journey that God is taking me on. I really am enjoying the ride, despite everything, because I know what's at the end and along the way. :)

More life goals

I have about 20 different journals which I abandon after the first 3 entries, so I'm putting this here, where I know it will be safe.

I only have a very vague memory of taking piano lessons around 14 years ago. I practiced jingle bells religiously until I could pound it out with the best of them, but after a while I guess I just lost interest. The same thing happened with ballet, gymnastics, tap, swimming lessons, the flute, horseback riding...

My problem that I have with my upbringing is that I was allowed to quit anything I didn't like, whenever I wanted to (it wasn't always in their control though, due to sickness and money, which I completely understand!). Sure, I was a happy child, not being exhausted by ballet practices and such, but I've noticed that I unfortunately still have next to no discipline for following through. I can't play an instrument, I never played sports, I can't swim... but changing that is my responsibility now.

I've been wanting to take piano lessons for a few years but just never got around to it. My friend Becca, however, knows how to play, so we made a deal: I babysit for her and she gives me lessons! I'm working diligently to learn my notes and by golly it's so much easier to like...read music when you know which notes are which! :P I'm so happy that I've finally started to do something and that I'm actually sticking to it!

Next on the list:

Learn how to play piano really well

Learn how to swim (I've had a few people offer to teach me, but I hate lakes...so that leaves pools.)

Learn how to dance (ballroom, swing, lyrical, anything and everything!)

Learn how to speak a language fluently. (preferably ASL, my love.)

Poem by me: Wordle-d.

Original Poem: (I wrote it for Mitch one day, when I was going through a difficult time).

It happens sometimes, this feeling of hope,

Lifting our heads, the horizon lies before us.

Only the strong and determined among us

Value the future enough to follow the feeling, their heads and their hearts...

Even the greatest must withstand the swirling pull of those who do not see.

Yearning for the horizon, growing in strength from the love all around

Only then do they begin, this journey filled with hope,

Understanding that their life becomes brighter with each step.

http://www.wordle.net/show/wrdl/1652045/Horizons(There's the link to see it bigger, if you want)

What if Love Wordle

Awesome Wordle! I took the words from my blog "What if love..." from a while back and put it into Wordle.net. They take your words and make different arrangements. You can change the colors and design to how you like it. :)

I want to apologize...

I've been thinking a lot lately about a blog a posted a while ago ranting about getting married young. I realized later that while my opinion is my opinion, I sounded like a self righteous, mean, downright rude individual. I realize that I know a lot of people who have gotten or are getting married at a young age. I don't talk to a lot of them but I am friends with them on facebook so there is a chance that they could have read my post. If you are one of them, please forgive me for any rude and offensive comments I made. I don't have any justification or reason behind my comments, I'm just really sorry. For those of you who are married, I often look through your pictures and find happiness in your contentment and beautiful children. For those of you who are soon getting married, I am really, truly, deeply happy for you and I share the joy of you planning your weddings and new life. :) I'm looking forward to being a witness to your vows and to watching your new life unfold.

Rachel