and I'm back

So yesterday I was looking at my friends' myspaces and I was like, "ya know, I really miss this." So I made myself a myspace last night under the conditions that if I could use it responsibly for 4 weeks then I could keep it, but if I wasted my time on it like I used to then away it would go after 4 weeks. After I made it though, I was feeling kind of edgy and ya know kinda "off" in the spirit. sooo... This morning I deleted it. whoopdi do. now I'm back here. alone. with no one to talk to. And still wasting my time on myspace even though I don't have an account. evil. rar. perhaps I'll just email all of my friends this address and have it be my space. haha. get it? right, lame. I know. gimme a break.

So on saturday (instead of doing all of my Chemistry make up work and re-do's like i should have) I painted my closet yellow and completely reorganized everything into rubbermaid boxes with neat labels. wow. i painted my closet. c l o s e t. who paints their closet? sigh. Anyone have a spare life laying around that they want to give me? I'll never get married at this rate. I'll live my life as a psychopathic slob/ocd perfectionist and drive all eligible males far, far away. unless of course there is 1 guy out of 300 million who is just like me. ha. ha. ha. Oh well. I've still got like 6 years before I even need to be thinking about crap like that. I'm still 16. I should live a nice quiet teenage life. too bad I don't want that. I hate caring what people think about me! If that wasn't a problem then I could be who I really am. only that whenever I try, my friends look at me like I'm so "not cool" you know that look? yea. It gets old. really fast. aren't there any COOL people who are serious and mature when needed but know how to actually have fun without caring what people think? I need someone like that to pull me out of my shell and force me to do fun things that I'd never try if it weren't for them.

well. know you know my innermost thoughts. posted on the internet for all to read. i need.

.....must die....

Still identifying my old mixed cd's from 6th and 7th grade.... Jump5 must.....die.... It's like, cruel and unusual punishment to my eardrums every time one of their songs comes on. And believe me, there's a ton of them. I was incredibly infatuated with them when I was 12. sigh.

snow

guess what? it snowed. hoopla. It's no fun when you can't pack it into a snowball. And especially no fun when we haven't any hills to sled on. my dad and i had fun this morning though, playing in the snow and building a little ramp to sled down. Turns out that my dog loves the cold weather and the snow. She's so cute! ya know what else is cool? no school today and because of the ice most likely no school tomorrow. :) Because our hill was so icy (yes, contradictory but sledding on this hill would be suicide. literally.) but anyway, it was so icy i couldnt drive up or down it so I walked 20 minutes to my friend's house and hung out with like 7 of our friends and then walked 20 minutes back. in the ice. and snow. what a girl will do for a little social interaction... :) actually i had fun walking there and back. I officially have nothing more to say. um, good evening.

Back to life

School. again. sigh. Christmas vacation is like the twilight zone. You live in 14 days of bliss, sleeping in, not leaving the house for 5 days, not talking to any people associated with everyday life. ever. haha. ok, so apparently it sounds like I'm the only one who does that. I use it as an excuse to be unsocial. My brother and I were talking last night about how we are so completely and totally different. When he was exactly my age in this season (winter) he went to New York. alone. 2 months after 9-11-01. at age 16. did i mention alone? I don't even like going to the grocery store alone! However, when I'm in a safe place (home...) I won't talk to any of my friends for like 2 weeks. I'm pretty sure he would die if that happened. (perhaps I'm part hobbit). Galen was so intent on growing up, (we both grew up pretty darn fast for 9 and 14) but I'm perfectly fine being 16 for a while longer. I think sixteen is the perfect age. I really don't want to grow up. I don't want to be independent in the go-off-to-college sort of way. sigh. I suppose next year and this year I'll grow a lot though and by the time I'm 18, I'll be ready to "be grown up and all on my own." I do realize that growing up isn't THAT bad. Just right now with the changes going on in my life and things shifting under my feet, I wish that things could stay like this forever. At least I know that God is the rock under my feet that will never shift or move. Even more so now than before I have to trust in him in every aspect of my life. If I didn't have him, I can quite assure you that I would be a complete and total anxious wreck. He's so calming and peaceful and steady. That's what I love about him. When something major and life changing happens, sometimes we run around like a hamster on caffeine, hyperventilating out of fear and because we're not in control for once. God just picks us up in his hands, holds us and whispers peaceful words of wisdom in our ears until we calm down, get our senses back and remember that God is in control and he will never leave us nor forsake us. After the ordeal is over we look back and realize that we benefited and grew throughout the whole thing. God is pretty much the most wonderful thing...um...ever. words honestly can't even explain what he is to me.

So this was a pretty digressful post. now at least you see the way my mind travels... :) I'm a gonna go to sleep now so that I have energy for AWANA tonight.

Have a wonderful evening!!

-Rachelizabeth