"You don't get concern about human rights and social justice and so on without empathy being at the heart of it." - Roman Krznaric
"If you don't bring empathy into politics, what do you get? You get the Holocaust. You get things like the Nuremburg laws where you dehumanize people." Roman Krznaric
Weight. The world is more weighted down than it was a few months ago, and I have begun to carry its weight in my heart. I have opened myself up to the pain around me, in the lives of the people I see in the news, to the stories of humans who I share so much with but have the privilege to pretend that I don't. I sense that the pain in the world that typically lies on the shoulders of those directly experiencing it has begun to be carried by those who have opened themselves to empathy. There are riots in the streets that consist of many who are not directly affected by the issues they are rioting. Men are marching in women's rights marches, legal residents are defending the rights of immigrants and refugees, white people are rioting against the bigotry shown towards People of Color, and Christians, Jews, and other faiths are fighting for ethical, equal, and equitable treatment of Muslims. Empathy and politics go hand in hand. When I open my heart and begin to visualize that I could be the person whose life is being ripped apart by political oppression, I begin to fight as an ally against the oppressor.
I have felt an enormous amount of weight lately due to the conversations I have had with people who have vastly different views on the world than I do. It isn't just politics, it's personal. I see dark things happening to human beings and my heart breaks because I am a human being and we are the same. We have the same capacity for the feelings of despair, agony, love, joy, family, etc. I have the privilege to turn my face away, while they do not. While talking to people who see these issues as just politics, I become angry and hurt, but I don't want to add more hurt by lashing out at them. I recently watched a short video on Facebook called, "How to Disagree" and this quote jumped out at me: "The true reason we get angry when people don't agree with us is because they've invalidated our emotions, like our feelings don't matter. It's because they've invalidated our sense of the world like they think our worldview is stupid" (Ooi, 2017). I feel that this is why I become so angry when people disagree with me, because many of them are arguing that I have no valid reason to feel the way I do, which is insulting. I realize, in very difficult humility, that this goes both ways and I need to work on validating their world view as well and asking them to share with me the basis for their views and beliefs.
My mom is a wonderful example of this practice. She has political beliefs that she keeps to herself, but she is open to the fact that others have valid reasons for believing the way that they do. She finds people fascinating and this leads to her asking questions about their feelings on issues. Even if she doesn't agree with them she will still find something positive to affirm, such as saying that she admires how much courage it takes to stand up for what you believe in. I honestly don't know how she does it, but I hope that one day I can learn to be as empathetic, accepting, and encouraging as she is.
Empathy is difficult because it is hard to make a choice to thrust yourself into pain. Humans mainly deal with pain that is forced on them and they do everything in their will to make it end as fast as possible. To be empathetic is to take pain on that was not given to you, in addition to your own pain, because it is the right, moral, and decent thing to do. To take it on not in the hope that you will eventually receive good back, but because it will make the world a better and more beautiful place for the entire race of humans which inhabit it. Empathy is exhausting, anguishing, and full of grief, but it is needed for the rights of humans everywhere to be won and protected.
Resources:
A. (2016, November 18). Roman Krznaric: How Empathy Can Change the World. Retrieved February 02, 2017, from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JLHZ5BuCzJw
Ooi, X. (2017, January 23). How to Disagree. Retrieved February 02, 2017, from https://www.facebook.com/xandriaooi/videos/1200822910013852/?pnref=story
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